So two days ago I wrote a little bit about myself and what I’m going through. Today, I am going to go in a little more detail about my Freshman and Sophomore years at college.. I am also going to give you all another self help tip.
So as I remember my first panic attack was the day of my first exam as a college student. I was hyperventilating and couldn’t breathe and my heart was pounding faster than I have ever seen until this day. Back then it was hard to put into words what I was feeling. Which lead to me waiting to go to the doctor. Over time these got more common, my boyfriend and I were always fighting because we couldn’t communicate about what was happening to me. I desperately needed him to help but as I was unsure, I was not able to tell anyone exactly what was going on in my head. Eventually they got to the point where my first semester, I was failing my chemistry class and was getting the lowest grades I have ever gotten. I dropped a class and tried to get my grades up but sadly that didn’t work. I failed my chemistry class and it felt like the world was ending. At this time I was a Physical Therapy Major and as you may know, chemistry is an important aspect of this major. I retook the class second semester and got a B but that was the hardest class to ever earn a B in for me. Throughout high school I had always gotten As and Bs so it was hard for me to accept that I was doing a lot worse. I had no idea what was going on.
During the beginning of Sophomore year, I decided it was time to go talk to the school psychiatrist. He put me on lexapro and let me tell you, that is not fun. I was sick all the time which lead to poor grades again. I eventually took myself off this medication because I was unable to get in to see him again and was unable to get ahold of him. This lead to me not seeing anyone for another year because I was so afraid of the side effects.
Tune in tomorrow about the rest of my journey.
Self Help Tip #2:
Don’t let anyone get to you, you NEED to come first and there is no ifs ands or buts about that.